I had an interview on Friday and I think I did well. Still, I’m wrestling with the inner demon that I completely fucked up the interview and I’m not getting the job. I haven’t heard anything about the job yet, so I’m continuing forward and applying for more jobs. As much as I don’t particularly care for it, I’m looking at jobs in the IT field. I’m good at doing the job, I know my way around, and I wouldn’t need a whole lot to be caught up on. I’d rather do something admin/clerical related, as the stress isn’t nearly as great (for me, at least).
I almost have everything I need for my case for disability. All I need is the disability portfolio from the university to help prove that this is a long term disability and not something that readily goes away. I *am* expecting to be turned down the first time, so I also want to figure out what I need to do for an appeal.
On the bright side, I’ve found more time to write and bring the condo into some form of livability. The writing is still in the form of snippets, excerpts, random ideas, and drabbles. Nothing definitive. My apologizes.
I’m off to apply to a couple of more jobs before working on the condo again.
That tends to happen a lot, yes? Bad news is that I realized that underwriting isn’t the job for me and I’ll more than likely need to be put on disability due to my fibro. I quit on Monday and I began looking for new jobs. Good news is that I have a month’s worth of pay coming in still. Rent is covered until September. All of my medical evals will be covered.
I feel as though I keep fucking up without meaning to actually fuck up. I did give quitting a lot of thought. It’s not that I hated my job. Far from it. I didn’t particularly care for it, either. I was in that weird in-between place and work was beginning to overwhelm me. The job was also stressing me out to the point that on any given day, chances were I was running a slight fever and my body ached. Normally, not a big deal. The pain has become background noise at this point. Some days are worse than others. It’s pain. No more than that; however, as the job was directly effecting my health and a lot of the progress I made in the past year was being undone, it was in my best interest to quit.
I’m currently searching for jobs and I’m hoping to get call backs at some point. Needless to say, it’s impacting my creativity a great deal. The idea at the moment is to write drabbles and see if anything comes of it. I’ll post what I come up with here.
Just know that I’m okay and I’m working on getting my feet back under me.