Which, in a way, was exciting.
Prepare yourselves for a lengthy post.
The main reason for my absence was trying to get a situation with an ex under control. His behavior was erratic and borderline obsessive/stalkerish (he found out where I lived once and I had to demand he leave five times before he left. His reason why he didn’t leave after being asked the first time? Because he loved me and leaving meant he didn’t love me. No. Refusing to leave meant he had no respect for me and was willing to impose his will over me). So much so that people that I trust urged me to take every precaution I can to protect myself. Unfortunately, that included letting some things slip by the way side as I focused on trying to get things straightened out and the ex out of my life.
I found out today that he moved and is about a two hour drive away from me. I’m relieved, as it means that I will no longer run the risk of seeing him in town. I have a few things to pick up from a friend who was able to rescue some of the stuff that the ex took with him.
After nearly four years, he’s finally leaving me alone. Maybe, hopefully, things will start turning around and I’ll never see him again.
Now that the Ex is out of the picture, I may be able to finally start turning things around and get things in working order. Baby steps, I’m told. From where I’m standing, I’ve been taking baby steps for the past four years. It hasn’t been until the Ex stopped trying to purposely ruin everything for me that things are starting to come around. Most people are bitter toward their Exes, and sometimes go out of their way to make the other person miserable for things that were rather quite small. I’m in the position that if he were to be involved in an unfortunate accident that I wouldn’t shed a tear. It wasn’t small things that he did that I’ve blown into a mole hill. To give you an idea of his character (along with the previous example I gave), he threatened to kill himself if I ever broke off the relationship and left him. Even after breaking things off with him, he was going out of his way to make my life miserable.
This is a huge relief that he’s out of the city. Along with me moving, I hope he never finds me again.
Christmas was a quiet affair, and I don’t remember much of anything happening other than a Christmas exchange of gifts as well as several dinners. The New Year was spent with friends celebrating their wedding anniversary.
I didn’t celebrate my birthday this year. I was working 12 hours of mandatory OT every week, and I was too exhausted to celebrate. Someone suggested I celebrate my “half birthday.” I did the math and it turns out that my half birthday is on 14 July, which is Bastille Day. I have a perverse desire to gather as many friends as possible to dress in 18th century French clothing and go to the local trampoline park. There would, of course, be a cake with a guillotine on it.
The next few months saw me working 12 hours of mandatory OT and sleeping. I attended events where I could. I attended Candlemas and I was officially made a cadet (fencing student) to a Don (fencing master). It was the end of January, and the weather was perfect that day. Small favours, I suppose.
I did go to Estrella War again, but I rolled my ankle during the first tournament bad enough that I couldn’t fight for the rest of the war. It was a good 8 weeks before I could fight standing again. The time did give me a chance to work on fighting “legged” and I became rather decent at fighting legged as well as fighting against a legged opponent.
After February, the months became a blur. I know I went to some events, but damn if I can remember any details. My life consisted of working a 52 hour work week, sleeping, eating, and showering. Most often in that order. Then there was the fibro that flared, which it does every Spring. I don’t know how everyone has put up with me with all the bitching I’ve been doing. Summer is right around the corner, and I’m very much looking forward to it.
I did find a roommate and during that time, and just now things are starting to slow down. Mandatory OT has been reduced, I have my weekends back, and I have the tiniest bit of a social life outside of work now. My roommate and I have figured out where we would like to live and will be submitting our applications shortly. I’m a little terrified that we’ll be turned down because my credit is still pretty bad. I’m hoping that because I’ve been very steady with car and student loan payments that everything will be approved.
That, in summary, is what’s been going on. I’ll post when I can as I get things organized.